'Tis the weekend to decide college championships, fa la la la la, la la la la. 'Tis the season to get automatic bids, fa la la la la, la la la la. That's right, Fearless Ben readers, it's time for the first ever, uncensored CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP SPECIAL!
WARNING: IF YOU FEEL OFFENDED BY ANY OF THESE PICKS, GO TO YOUR LOCAL SHOE STORE AND ASK THEM TO MAKE YOU A BIG MAC. THIS MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY HELP, ESPECIALLY SINCE SHOE STORES DON'T USUALLY SELL BIG MACS, BUT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUSLY FUNNY TO SAY IT ANYWAY.
Now, back to our regular programming.
MAC Championship: Miami of Ohio 220, Central "I Want My Mommy" Michigan 0. The Gophers would feel a lot better about things if the only team they beat got into a bowl. Even if it's the Motor City Bowl.
Conference USA Championship: Tulsa 2, Central Florida 0. Only a safety in this hockey scoring game, only without the fights.
ACC Championship: Virginia Tech 49, Boston College 48. The sentimental pick of millions of Americans after the tragic shootings in April of many young men and women who still hadn't come to enjoy a full life.
SEC Championship: LSU 21, Tennessee 10. It seems that triple overtime loss on Black Friday was only caused by too much nachos.
Big XII Championship: Missouri 63, Oklahoma 62. In the Great Plains, a fierce duel rages. But Missouri wins, so get out those horses, boys, and get a gun and pull the trigger. (Editor's note: I think Ben was picking the basketball score here, but maybe he'll get by with it).
Special Uncensored I Want My Mommy Pick: Irondale 5/6 Grade In-House Gold Team 2,575,102, Whoever the Heck They Are Playing 1,000,001. And one-half.
That is all of the uncensored, Big Mac slinging picks for the week. And I wonder if they actually sell Quarter Pounders at Toys 'r' Us? Or even Babies 'r' Us?
Peace out,
Ben
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